Weigh in

Today was the weigh in after 5 days - I'm down 3.5 lbs to 145.0 Now that I have the momentum, it is going easier - today's meal will be at noon with a shake for dinner. My exercise for today may be shivering since it is -12 degrees at this writing. This is going to be a quick post since I have a number of errands today (in anticipation of major plumbing work in the house to begin Monday)

Back on the Wagon

Hey everyone, I'm back - I had shoulder surgery in November and had a planned hiatus from dieting. The surgery was technically called a shoulder decompression and involved the removal of some bone spurs. After rehab, I'm back to normal, have full range of motion, and am blissfully pain free.

I decided it was time to go back on the wagon and finish what I started. I weighed in at 148.5 on Monday(a net gain of 8.5 lbs), and am wearing jeans a full 2 sizes smaller than when I started this adventure in May '08. Resuming the diet has not been without its problems.

I spent Monday rather hungry and forgot to eat all my snacks. Did better on Tuesday even though I yielded to the call of the peanut butter cup. I was starting to feel like Alex in Madagascar when he kept seeing everything as a juicy steak - including his friends.

Wednesday I felt like I was getting into the swing of things. Which brings me to today, my scheduled cleanse day - I haven't been particularly hungry but I really did have some problems drinking the cleanse drink since it was the first time I'd had it since early November - RPM asked "is this the stuff that has the antidote on the bottom of the bottle?" which is NOT what you want to hear in mid swig! Grounds for divorce? no. Murder, yes!

In case you are wondering how I kept myself occupied, and not eating, the photo at right show my project - a 48 x72 crochet afghan in chenille yarn. It was a Christmas gift to my daughter who loves all things soft and fuzzy.

On hiatus - for awhile

Due to upcoming shoulder surgery, I'll be on a hiatus from my diet - for the record, I am maintaining my weight! I won't be blogging for awhile but I will be busy and plan to get back on track once the surgery is completed and I am pain free. Pain meds tend to cloud my thinking and since I don't tolerate most pain meds well, I'll save everyone the gory details of my recovery and post my next entry when I'm back to somewhat normal.

On the road again!

Well folks, I'm writing from Kansas City MO, City of Fountains. I weighed in before I left and was comfortably at 140.5. Only 10 lbs to go! The surprize for me was as I was packing, I ran across a pair of slacks I'd forgotten about (they were part of a 3 pc outfit - dress, slacks and jacket) that were part of an outfit that went to Goodwill probably 2 years ago.....and they fit - in size 12!

Unfortunately Isagenix can't take credit for all the loss since we had a flooded family room as the result of 12 inches of rain in the west suburban Chicago area and the resulting stress was not been fun. We didn't lose furniture but having to suddenly move a lot of boxes and get stuff off the carpet as the water is coming in makes for workout that I don't like participating in! At least someof our loss is covered by insurance since we had a sump pump failure along with a stairwell drain failure. At least I'll get that new ceramic tile floor I've been thinking about......

The photo is the WWI Liberty Memorial in Kansas City - an art deco gem and a somber reminder of the horror of war - the sphinx has its eyes covered at the devastation of WWI.

Musings on marriage

This has been a hard week. Weigh in was 143.5 and I realized that my biggest issue with sticking on the plan is the one I'm married to! While I'm crazy about RPM (my spouse), the mere thought of deviating from a routine drives him absolutely nuts! Ever since we were dating, our Sunday routine was to have breakfast together - you know, a REAL breakfast of bacon and eggs, juice and toast and tea. And woe to the wife who wants to change that routine, even for the sake of losing weight!

Guys can lose weight easily - as one friend said, while just thinking about it they can lose. Women on the other hand, are a different story. The real reason women gain weight after marriage is that their spouses expect them to eat as much as they do, as OFTEN as they do! Hence, we are married to our biggest sabouteurs (next to ourselves) It is critical for women to have a support system while losing weight, which is why it is also important that women support one another. Ladies, build that network! And don't forget to exercise!

After the Wedding

We got back from the wedding late Sunday night and are back to reality today. I weighed in yesterday at 147.5 (and I'm not happy about that but it was to be expected) yet today I'm at 144.5 and I really didn't do much different. The wedding was beautiful and the food fantastic. The bride and groom looked radiant. My dress fit quite well and I was pleased with how I looked considering I hadn't worn an evening dress in several years.

Today's photo is of a little guy who washed up on the beach the day we left - we presumed he was orphaned since he was too young to be on his own and fending for himself.

Gearing up for the wedding

Weigh in day today looked pretty good....142.5 lbs! I haven't seen that since 2003. The diet is going well and I'm feeling good about the weight lost (so far it has been 23 lbs) and the fact that I'm able to fit into clothes that I previously couldn't get into before. I'm officially into a size 12 regular or a Medium petite pant. I'm pretty happy about that and that many people are noticing that I have lost weight! I've going off the diet a couple of time and done 2 regular meals and a shake and still been able to post a net loss. Hooray for Isagenix! (and to me for sticking to the program!)

My son gets married next Friday and the dress I chose to wear fits quite well in a 12. We'll be off to Carmel, CA for the wedding as of Wednesday. All this travel makes it difficult to diet but, also goes to prove that if I can travel and STILL lose the weight, the Isagenix program works! Several of my friends are looking into the program - I figured out that is costs about $7 a day for the program or $50 a week....not a bad investment in my long term health!

Slow, hopefully steady

Weighed in at 147 this week. I seem to have settled into a pattern of losing 1.5 lbs per week. It is getting harder to get all the water in since I am travelling a lot more now for work. I finally resorted to carrying 2 bottles in my car so I remember to drink it all. The exciting news is that my clothes are so loose I have had to pull out some clothes I had given up on ever getting back into and they actually fit! (wow, a new wardrobe without shopping - what a concept!) I also had a friend offer to return some clothes I had given her last year since it appears I can get back into them. LOL! Now the interesting problem is that I crocheted a vest and now it is too big. Guess someone will get a gift since I'm not inclined to rip it apart and remake it! (I'm not that much of an experimenter!)

Tried some new smoothie flavors - black cherry (from frozen cherries at Trader Joes) and Pineapple Mango. It is getting fun to experiment.

We have had a lot or rain and gardening efforts have been frustrated by the rotator cuff injury. I posted on freecycle to share plants and in the process get them thinned. Had a lot of takers but much remains to be done. I've been offered some neat plants so if I can ever get the back yard garden tilled, I'll have a lot of fun!

Others are noticing!

Been rather busy with work and lots of activities. Was out every evening this week and fell into bed - I felt lucky to stay on the diet much less weigh in....as of last Friday the 13th I weighed 150.5 lbs. Stepped on the scale today and it read 148.5! To say the least I'm excited. I haven't seen the 140's since 2004 (and my mother's 2nd hip fracture) Now it is only 18 ounces to halfway!

Yesterday one of the women at my office commented on a photo that was on a Tai Chi flyer I had left and said I looked like I'd lost 1/4 of myself (not a bad comment after 17 lbs!) and someone I saw at a meeting last night said I appeared a lot smaller through the stomach and hips.

Last weekend I attended a Tai Chi intensive and tried very hard to stay on program during the lunch break. Sunday being Father's Day was more challenging since my father really doesn't tolerate going out for full meals anymore and we opted for ice cream - the Hot Fudge Sundae was calling and I willingly answered. (I never thought of a Hot Fudge Sundae sounding sexy but it depends on how long it has been since you've had one.....)

Another motivator for losing weight is my son's wedding in August. They opted for 8/8/08 as a wedding date in Carmel CA. I need to get a suitable dress and since I generally have avoided wearing dresses in my adult life (it's the tomboy in me I guess), shopping for one is going to be an experience. I've asked a friend to help me shop....she doesn't know what she is in for yet.....or maybe I don't know what I'm in for yet......

Experimentation

The weekly weigh in was delayed because I had a crazy schedule yesterday - today I weighed 151.5 lbs. Clothes are definitely more loose and friends are seeing the loss in my face (the usual first place I lose weight). Am experimenting with the shakes - tried a pineapple and mango shake and have had those for a few days - trying to keep a little variety in the routine. My biggest issue with most diet plans has been boredom with the menu. I'm not experiencing that here. The diet is quite flexible and even when we have eaten out, I've been able to keep within the recommended 400-600 calories.

We went to the Printer's Row book fair on Saturday. Walked several miles and then had lunch at the Berghoff. Walked to the train with some sightseeing of local landmarks (the Monadnock Building; the Chagall mosaics; 2 North Riverside Plaza - an art deco delight!) After arriving home, I had my final shake of the day and then crashed. Lots of rain lately and although the flowers like it, I'm starting to feel like this is better weather for ducks.....

the sweet feeling of success

Well, it isn't really THAT much larger than life, but todays weigh in sure felt good! Stepped on the scale this morning and weighed 152.5 lbs, down 12.5 lbs from where I started. Even better news, I tried on a pair of shorts that were too tight last summer (and resided in the bottom of my drawer until yesterday) and they were loose! As are the ones I'm wearing as I write this! RPM is quite impressed - (told me I'm getting my shape back!) and has even gotten into the spirit by asking if I'm on a shake day or not.

We have resumed our long after dinner walks, and I'm feeling good. Even better is that I'm feeling refreshed waking up in the morning so I'm sleeping better. I have gotten into a routine that allows me to have my morning and lunch shakes, eat my snacks and not feel like I'm starving right before dinner. Dinner has been consisting of grilled chicken, fish or the occasional steak, salad and a 1/2 cup of veggies - asparagus is in season around here so I've been taking advantage of its availability.

I've been working in my garden - flowers, not vegetables. The rose to the right of the page is called "Harison's Yellow Rose". It is a cutting from rootstock dating to about 1860 - it was a volunteer at my parent's home and when they moved, I dug out several shoots and this was the one that took. Harison's Yellow Rose is most often seen in the area from the Ohio Valley to New Mexico. It was one of the first rose cultivars in the US and is a cross between a shrub rose and a Scottish Thistle Rose. (and it has some really nasty stickers, I might add!). It has a spreading habit and sends out runners. I put it on a trellis to attempt to manage it, and still it is on the verge of eating my patio!

This rose went west with the pioneers and was often planted at the back door. You can tell where houses once stood by the presence of this rose. It isn't fussy and seems to thrive on neglect - I live at the northern edge of its habitat and I'm convinced that the reason it has done so well is that I have it on a southern exposure and it is sheltered from the north wind. It is really a Zone 5 plant rather than Zone 4. End of horticulture lesson!

Houseguest Challenge

Got on the scale this week and was up 1 lb to 156.5 . I was certain I had gained back at least half of what I lost since we had houseguests this weekend and I indulged in a lot of goodies at the St Athanasios Greek festival on Saturday. Stayed away from the breaded smelts, but couldn't resist the souvlaki, saganaki, spanakopita and honeypuffs. I was back on program on Sunday and seemed none the worse for wear. So I think the 1 lb gain wasn't all that bad - especially since I'm able to comfortably wear a pair of jeans I hadn't been able to get into for 3 years and my blouses are fitting better and are without "gap-osis". Yeah, I know my closet needs a good cleaning - but now I am able to wear some of the clothes I couldn't get into before! RPM says he is noticing the change. I'm also sleeping better and beginning to awaken earlier...

Weigh-in

Today I got on the scale and weighed 155.5 lbs. Total loss is 10 lbs over 9 days. RPM helped me take my measurements and I have lost a total of 14 inches from 344.5" to 330.5". Most of the loss has occurred in my upper body thus far but I have lost 2 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my thighs. I put on a shirt that had been snug and it fits well! This diet is a keeper....

From now until I reach goal I'll be on shakes for 6 days and cleansing on the 7th. I'll do a weekly weigh-in and take my measurements in another 20 days so keep checking the blog to see how I'm doing - I'm counting on my readers to be accountability partners!

Winding up the 9 day starter diet program

So far, so good. I'm not starving myself, eating reasonably well and my clothes and rings are fitting more loose. Here's my log for the balance of the 9 day Isagenix program.....

Day 7 Friday 5/16 - Today is a cleanse day. And I have to do some house calls. Took the Cleanse for Life drink and an accelerator capsule in the morning, along with the Ionix Supreme as outlined on the schedule. And 16 ounces of water. Made sure I have extra water in the car and packed my snacks and almonds in a zip top baggie along with my checksheet. I tried on my anniversary ring and it wasn't tight - my hands aren't swollen even though it is 70 degrees outside...think I'll wear it today. RPM asked if I was on shakes or cleanse tomorrow (Saturday). Told him I'm on shakes and so he said he'd grill a steak for dinner tomorrow. He's on his own for dinner tonight since I'm cleansing.

Saw my clients, stayed on diet schedule and am not having any disruption to my day. Finished my other 2 Cleanse for Life drinks and settle in for the evening watching TV. Final cleanse drink is at 8pm. Fit them all in today.

Day 8 Saturday 5/17 - Shake day. RPM says I look thinner through the middle and my jeans are getting loose through the hip and thigh (and they aren't my fat jeans!) Made a Strawberry Mango smoothie for breakfast and another for lunch using the IsaLean Shake Mix. Then went to my additional continuing class in Taoist Tai Chi (I'm attending 2 classes a week whenever possible) Taoist Tai Chi is a non martial arts form of Taijiquan and is a wonderful type of exercise designed to help with health and fitness. It has helped my balance immensely, not to mention, it's fun!

BTW, you can learn more about this form or Tai Chi at http://www.taoist.org/. Joel Gottleib has a great blog on Taoist Tai Chi and MS http://mstaichi.blogspot.com/ He has had a rough time of it lately and I wish him well in his challenges with MS.

After class, I visit a friend who raises horses and then head home to a steak dinner - yes, 400-600 calories...yesss, I'm being a good girl.

Day 9 Sunday - Last cleanse day - hooray - I'm starting to feel hungry so I'm munching my daily allotment of snacks and almonds in between the cleanse drink. Can't believe I'm looking forward to a shake day tomorrow. And my weigh in and measurements. RPM says my pants look downright loose!


My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind: So flewed, so sanded, and their heads are hung With ears that sweep away the morning dew; Crook-kneed, and dewlapped like Thessalian bulls; Slow in pursuit, but matched in mouth like bells, Each under each. - Wm Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream (Theseus at IV, i)

In memory of Sophie Basset, a much loved companion

6/2/1999-5/1/2008

Diet days 4-7

Since I have a neuromuscular condition that makes aerobic exercise difficult, and had the plantar fasciitis off and on for about the last 2 years, walking any distance for exercise was a challenge until about 3 weeks ago when I had something called Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy. ESWT is a therapy based on the concept of counter irritation of the injured tissues. Counter irritation is used with horses to speed healing and it is the same concept for people. Honestly, the most painful part of the procedure was numbing my ankle and foot - after that, it was a breeze and my foot felt great afterward.

Which brings me back to the diet...
Tuesday 5/12 - Cleanse day. I chose a Tuesday since I would be seeing clients all day in my office and not doing housecalls. I've gotten to the point that I can actually taste the flavor of the Cleanse for Life drink and not focus on the "cleanse" part. Water doing well, snacks going well and good communication from Kitt. A few folks are curious about what I'm doing. So far, so good.

Wednesday 5/13 - Shake day. Am doing something different today - Having a Mango smoothie. It needed a bit more flavor so I blended in half a small banana to the evening one. Had lunch with a friend and tried Chili's child's menu since the portions are more realistic - had a chicken breast and steamed broccoli. Went to the doctor for my 6 month lung checkup and weighed 159 lbs after eating lunch. Yeah! Still drinking the water. Drank the evening shake too fast and got brain freeze (yeowwch!)

Thursday 5/15 - My trusty office assistant and right hand came by to do filing and pick up stuff for client billing. She took a taste of the shake/smoothie and agreed it tasted good (so it isn't my imagination!) She also checked out the Isadelights chocolates - a semisweet chocolate that is supposed to help with cravings on cleanse days -

They are pretty good, even though I'm not really a fan of chocolate. When I was 3, I had a close encounter with those mint flavored chocolates in the blue box in the family medicine chest - Yep, ate the whole box, and was I ever sick - (they say we are not supposed to remember much from our very early childhood, but believe me, I REMEMBER that!) Anyway, after that I never was a real fan of pure chocolate. Mixed in other things it was OK, but not chocolate for chocolate's sake.

Made a smoothie for lunch and drove to a client's home for a housecall, then back to the office. Finished my evening meal with hubby at Culver's - had a Chicken Salad Sandwich and water. Only ate 1 piece of the bread. Finally got home from work at 8:45 and fell into bed at 9:30. Still on program and not hungry between meals.


Only 3 days to go on the 9 day program, then begin the 30 day schedule of 6 shake days and 1 cleanse day. I'm really curious now since my rings are not as tight and my pants are not as hard to zip.

Deciding to Diet and Days 1-3

Deciding to diet was not that difficult - I'm tired of feeling fat and not having my clothes fit. The scale helped, too, along with a nagging case of plantar fasciitis. Which diet to use and when to begin were the issues. I had looked at several diets and realized that with my metabolism, I really needed to stay away from carbs. That eliminated Jenny Craig, Nutrasystem, Weight Watchers and a lot of the trendy stuff out there. It didn't help that I don't tolerate soy all that well, so that effectively eliminated a few other diets. Atkins looked good but I really couldn't do all the soy protein.

A friend from OH lost a lot of weight and looked really good, so I asked her how she did it. She told me about a program called Isagenix. I spent several months looking at it and balked at the price initially until I found out you could sign up for the wholesale program and get 30% off all the products you buy. I splurged and bought the 9 day package and a few extras. Also contacted Kitt Draheim who lives a couple of hours away and who had a blog on weight loss - I was impressed with hers and Debra's testamonials on Isagenix' effectiveness. Since I have had a busy schedule over the past month and a lot of travelling, I opted to start this weekend....So here's the good, the bad and the ugly of my adventures in dieting.

Friday 5/9 - Kitt sent me some written materials to get started and so my hubby RPM and I proceeded to take my measurements this morning before breakfast .....eeek! Was it ever ugly! I looked at the numbers and wanted to cry - and I did. I then resolved to lose 35 lbs if it killed me! I went to the cupboard and started pulling out the Isagenix stuff. Hmmmm, pre cleanse day - do 2 shakes and a small meal. OK, this should be a no brainer.

I pulled out the IsaShake mix and followed the instructions. Love potion #9 it wasn't. RPM saw the look on my face as I tried to poke the stuff down and asked if they sold the antidote for it. At least it didn't taste like the Atkins shakes or some of those other shakes they sell at the health food store. The IsaSnacks were an improvement - one snack tablet every hour and a half with 2 unsalted almonds and lots and lots of water (they recommend half of your weight in ounces of water per day) I tried both the chocolate and vanilla snacks and prefer the vanilla, hands down. In the meantime, I scheduled a call to Kitt and asked her how on earth people tolerate the shake taste and she said to add some ice and some frozen fruit to it and put it in a blender to make a smoothie. That sounds tolerable...actually sounds good!

Dinner time came around and we had chicken breasts, salad and I was struggling to fit in all the food. And I didn't feel hungry. So I decided to do the Cleanse day on Saturday.

Saturday 5/10 - our ritual has been to go to breakfast at a local restaurant. Because of the new diet, we decided to skip it this week. I took the Accelerator tablet and then drank the Cleanse for Life drink over ice as recommended and had the snack and 2 almonds. I'd been assured that it is a "gentle" cleanse - and for someone who has never had a constipated day in her life, it was more than a little anxiety provoking as images of a colonoscopy prep were running through my head...a couple of hours passed... and nothing happened! OK, so itis safe to go out. I headed to Trader Joes and picked up some frozen fruit for the smoothies for the week. Mango and Strawberry - Anything with strawberries is fine by me....Oh, I need bananas too....

I got home and was glad I did - the cleanse started to work - I also realized I have never peed so much in my life! I stuck to the cleanse schedule for the day and then realized tomorrow is Mother's Day. My daughter is coming out and RPM is cooking on the grill. Can't cleanse tomorrow unless I incur the wrath of family - so will do a shake day instead

Sunday 5/11 - RPM asked me when I want to eat dinner - I said after daughter Val arrives. So I made myself a strawberry smoothie (shake mix, 4 ice cubes and 3 frozen strawberries add 1 cup cold water and voila!) and dang! it tasted really good! I can live with this diet. Stuck with the snacks and water and had a nice dinner with family. Had a piece of angel food cake with fresh strawberries. Forgot the evening shake.

Monday 5/12 - Shake day. Decided to do strawberry smoothies again today (one can never have too many strawberries in a day) - decided to have them for breakfast and lunch with a dinner of salad and leftovers. Finished the fresh strawberries off on the last piece of angelfood cake. Okay, I know it's not on the diet....

The last 20 years

Well if you weren't bored by the last post, this will bring you up to date. When we last left, I was having fun learning to ride horses. I was also working as a social worker in the state mental hospital and passively smoking about 2 packs a day courtesy of my office mates. (for those of you who don't know it, people who work in psych and health care are among the worst offenders when it comes to smoking...and they smoke more around you when you complain...) I got really sick during a move to a new house and would up in the ER with a severe asthma attack (never had to go to the ER before, never for asthma) Riding went away, had to leave my job because my doctor told me to quit smoking (this is before all the stuff about second hand smoke - the state wasn't about to accomodate me) and it took several years for the breathing to stabilize. Got a new doctor who determined that several of the air sacs in my lungs had broken abruptly during the asthma attack, got on a new med regime and life resumed...

I began riding dressage and my hubby got me a horse so at age 38 I realized the dream of the 3 year old who sat on a horse for the first time....

This is Ari, who is now enjoying a well earned retirement on a farm near Rockford IL. He is a 30 year old Quarter Horse, a great grandson of Leo. He is a wonderful friend.

He has a chronic suspensory condition leaving him prone to lameness.

There really IS something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a person, don't you think?





The weight came on gradually but really piled on after 2003 and my mother's hip fracture and father's diagnosis with Lewy Body Dementia. They moved nearby from their home 150 miles away and I became more of a full time caregiver than I had planned on being - I have no brothers and sisters to share the responsibility, so RPM and I double teamed as caregivers of aging parents. I made an attempt on Atkins and lost 17 lbs a few years back but it came back. Seemed no matter how much I watched what I ate, it applied itself directly to my hips (and arms and butt and thighs!)


The chubby person in the photo is me - I've come along way from 88 lbs, don't you think? I sure thought so when I saw this picture...great one of the horse but what happened to me??

And would you believe this wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back? (It should have been!) See, someone really DID come in at night and steal my thighs, and my butt and my stomach and replaced them with somene else's!

Reality Check

This is my first attempt at a blog, so you readers out there forgive me if I ramble....I'm a post menopausal 50 something who was 5 feet 4 inches and packed 125 lbs on a small frame until about 10 years ago - then I started gradually gaining weight and have topped out at 165 lbs - just looking at that figure in print makes me upset! For those of you who have received the internet joke about someone coming in at night and stealing your thighs, I maintain that is what happened to me - only it was more of an exchange - they stole my thighs and left an extra body parts that I swear that weren't mine!

Jokes aside, weight gain after the change runs in my family as does Type II diabetes. The diabetes is a genetic thing and I have traced it back 4 generations. Several of my cousins have already developed diabetes and the unfortunate complications that it brings. So for me, losing the weight is not just vanity but a matter of my long term health.

Body image has been an issue of sorts but not for the usual "I'm too fat" reasons. I was always a runt...from the time I was a kid! - you know the type - smallest in the class, last picked for any kind of team sports, the klutz. I couldn't gain weight if my life depended on it - and believe me at one time it did! - I got the "gain weight or else" lecture from my doctor more then a few times. I had childhood asthma that wasn't treated properly so by the time I graduated high school I weighed 75 lbs soaking wet. For those of you who don't know about respiratory illnesses, when you are struggling to breathe, you burn a LOT of calories; so many so that in my state of health, I couldn't physically consume enough calories to gain weight.

Fast forward a few years and a few more complications - 2 lung collapses and a bronchoscopy later, it was determined that I needed to be on steroid treatment for the asthma. (How I managed to complete college and finish a graduate degree during all this still boggles my mind) IMHO, if there is anyone who deserves the Nobel prize in medicine, it is the person who invented spray steroids for asthma and COPD. Oh, and by this time I had married and weighed about 88 lbs.

My life really began after that point. With the changes in medications I actually began to sleep restfully though the night instead of sleeping through asthma attacks and waking up exhausted. I remember going to Washington DC with hubby and taking a deep breath and actually feeling dizzy from all the extra oxygen I was getting! By the time I was 29, I finally reached 100 lbs - and according to people who know me now, I still looked "ill" (but they hadn't seen me before!)




So my life settled into some normalcy and I started doing the thing I had dreamed about as a kid - learning to ride horses. No, I wasn't any kind of expert rider - I just wanted to have some fun - and I did.